


Grass is Greener

by WatMcGregor



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28383192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatMcGregor/pseuds/WatMcGregor
Summary: So this was the first work I ever posted on A03 (and I think it shows!)One shot from when it all first began, in which ridiculous boys get their wires crossed...
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	Grass is Greener

They were in the Vic tucking into fish and chips at their usual table just inside the door, early lunch after Ben had managed to sell two cars that morning and Jay had fancied a break from Callum moping around the funeral parlour. Jay had sworn by eleven o-clock that morning, one more heavy sigh from his dopey work colleague and he’d have stuffed him in their finest mahogany casket and left him there with the lid down.  
It was early enough for the Vic to be pretty much empty, apart from Mick down the far end of the bar chatting with a punter, his sudden laugh cutting through the silence every now and then.  
It was silent at their table, too, only not punctuated by any laughter now or in the immediate future, if their joint expressions were anything to go by. Ben had his head down, shovelling chips and peas in as fast as they would go.  
“So…” said Jay finally. “Callum was out with a fella last night.”  
Ben carried on chewing for a second and then grunted with his mouth still half-full. “Yeah?”  
“Yeah.” Jay looked at him expectantly. When the silence began to drag, Ben shrugged his shoulders. “And you’re telling me why?” He speared another forkful of chips, eyes still on his plate.  
Jay frowned. “I thought you an’ him was – you know.”  
“Nah. I don’t know Jay.” Ben’s tone was impatient. “Why dontcha spell it out?”  
“I thought he liked ya.”  
Ben shrugged again. “He never liked me, not really. I was just the first queer who showed an interest in him.”  
He glanced up and then slid his gaze away from Jay. “S’like chickens, innit?”  
Jay blinked. “Chickens?”  
“Yeah, you take away the mother hen, the chicks’ll latch on to the first thing they see; follow it round, treat it like it’s mum. Well,” Ben licked grease off his fingers, smacking his lips obnoxiously, “that’s our Callum. Adopted me, followed me round til somefink better came along.”  
Jay propped his knife and fork on his plate and sat forward in his seat, meal abandoned. “But you liked him!”  
Ben raised his eyebrows in a manner that could have signified a range of things, from resignation to surprise to indifference.  
“I know ya did,” Jay insisted. “Otherwise what was that all about when he was wiv Whitney? You wanted him to – you know – latch on to you.”  
Ben’s eyes widened and a smirk spread across his face.  
“I aint never heard it called that before.”  
Jay took a moment and then shook his head, a blush creeping up from his collar.  
“Look at ya!” crowed Ben. “You’ve grossed yourself out, aint ya?”  
“Shut up!” Jay had known Ben long enough to know when he was deflecting. He resumed his meal, still shaking his head slightly. After a couple of mouthfuls of food, during which the silence stretched between them, he added, “He looked like a rabbit in the headlights last night.”  
Ben snorted. “When don’t he?”  
“And he’s in a foul mood today an all.”  
“Not my problem, mate.”  
Ben had that closed-off defiant look on his face, the way he always did when he was feeling vulnerable.  
“You still like ‘im!” announced Jay.  
Ben threw his fork down with a little more force than was necessary, and pointed at Jay with his knife. “It don’t matter, Jay. He’s off sowing his wild oats, and who am I to stand in the way?”  
“But you want to.”  
Ben lowered his knife to the edge of his plate and grimaced. “What is this, lunch with Mystic Meg? Stop telling me what I want. Or what you think I want,” he corrected.  
“But I’m right though, aint I?”  
Jay stared at him expectantly. When Ben finally saw that he wasn’t going to let the matter drop, he sighed heavily and threw his hands up in the air.  
“Alright, you’ve got me. I fell hook, line and sinker for the dopey bastard, but it weren’t ever gonna work, were it?”  
“Why not?” asked Jay.  
“Cos I was the only bloke he’d ever been with. I could teach him all I know – and let’s face it, I know a hell of a lot –“  
Jay rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, right little gay Casanova, you are.”  
“ – but he’d get bored, wanna move on.” Ben gestured to his plate. “You might like fish and chips, mate, but you wouldn’t want it every day for the rest of your life, would ya? So I told him to go out and shag any bloke with a pulse, get some experience. But I tell ya somefing bro,” Ben sat back and rubbed his face with his hands. “It’s fuckin’ killin’ me.”  
He looked up at Jay, his eyes beseeching,  
Jay stared back at him like he was the biggest idiot in the universe.  
“You’re a fuckin’ idiot, you know that, right? He coulda bin the best thing that ever happened to ya, and you sent him packing. What an idiot!”  
“I know! Don’t think I don’t know.”  
They sat in silence again, both considering the exact level of ‘idiot’ Ben Mitchell was operating on.  
“So, you still want him,” Jay resumed.  
“It don’t matter –“  
“You still want him, so you’re gonna havta let him know that, aren’t ya?”  
Ben had started shaking his head before Jay even stopped speaking.  
“No –“  
“What have you got to lose?”  
“My self-respect?”  
“Long gone, mate. Come on, remember when I got you to practice coming out to Abi?”  
“What’s that got to do –“  
“We’re gonna role play. I’ll be Callum, and you can be you.”  
Ben stared at him as if he’d lost the plot. “Oh, thanks mate.”  
“Come on, ready?”  
“Nah, this is stupid.”  
“That’s what you said the last time, but it worked, didn’t it? She finally accepted that you were a big gay homo.”  
Ben glared at him.  
“So now we’ve gotta convince Callum that you’re a big gay homo who’s gay for him.”  
He sat up straight and schooled his features into an approximation of wide-eyed innocence.  
“Ah, y’alright Ben? How’s it hangin’?”  
Ben sprawled back in his seat, an expression of incredulity on his face. “Is that s’posed to be Callum?”  
Jay waved his hand around. “Yeah, yeah, get on with it. Woo him.”  
“Woo -? Jesus!” Ben sighed, but nevertheless played along. He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts.  
“Right, Callum, the thing is, all these blokes you’ve been seeing…”  
“Yeah Ben?” Jay had adopted a dopey voice to go with the dopey expression on his face. “What about ‘em?”  
“Well, if you’re not careful you’re gonna get yourself a reputation as a bit of a tart –“  
“What!? No, no, no! That’s not the tack to take. And besides which, aint that the pot calling the kettle black?”  
Ben sighed in frustration. “But it’s driving me mad, Jay! He’s got a different bloke every night, and –“  
“And what?”  
They both jumped at the voice that came from behind Ben’s shoulder.  
“And WHAT?” Callum stepped up to their table, hands on hips and eyes blazing.  
“Callum…”  
“No! Don’t you dare judge me Ben Mitchell.”  
“I wasn’t tryna –“  
“You’re a bleedin’ hypocrite, ya know that?” He turned to leave, but then turned back to Jay. “Mrs Irvine’s arrived early for her appointment. And I’m goin’ for me lunch.”  
And with that, he turned and high-tailed it out of the pub.  
Ben put his head in his hands. “Shit! Well, that went well. Cheers Jay.”  
Jay pushed his chair out. “I’ll go an –“  
“No! I’ll go. I’m the muppet who upset him. You go and sort out your customer.”

He finally found him on the swing in the kids’ playground, arms hooked around the chains and eyes staring at the ground in front of his feet like it held the answer to life, the universe and everything. Ben edged quietly alongside and sat on the other swing, not wanting to spook him. He saw from the hardening of Callum’s jaw that he realised who it was that had sat beside him, but the older man didn’t raise his eyes from the very fascinating piece of weed-strewn tarmac. Ben gave him a few seconds on the off-chance, but he continued to ignore him.  
“That weren’t what you thought,” Ben began.  
Still there was no response.  
Ben sighed. “I weren’t slut-shaming ya, Callum.”  
The other man stirred, dragging his toe across the tarmac and swaying slightly on the swing. “No? Sounded like it to me. If you can even do that to blokes.”  
Ben considered, head on one side. “Well, yeah, I think so. If a geezer’s bein a massive tart, I guess you –“  
“Right, Whatever.” Callum jumped up and made to leave the playground.  
“What? No! Callum, don’t go.” Ben grabbed his arm to stop him, but Callum refused to turn around. Ben stood up too. “Cal, come on.”  
“It was your idea,” said Callum, head bent and words directed at the ground. “You were the one who said I should go out and get some experience.”  
Ben stroked his hand down Callum’s arm, not wanting to lose contact now he’d actually touched him, for the first time in weeks. “I know, and that’s cos I’m a massive idiot, mate.”  
“Mate!” Callum’s mouth twisted bitterly, his head shaking. Then he turned to face Ben and asked, “How many does it have to be?”  
“What?”  
“How many, Ben? How many blokes before I’m experienced enough for ya?”  
Ben frowned. “What you on about?”  
Callum began pacing and throwing his arms around in that way he always did when he was getting worked up about something. “I hate it! I hate all them hook-ups I bin havin’.”  
He looked as if he was about to burst into tears, fragile and defenceless, and Ben wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms, but when he made a move towards him, Callum stepped back and raised his palms. “No! You don’t get to touch me anymore. You made me like this and now you’re slagging me off behind my back.”  
Ben raised his eyebrows. “Well, technically, you was behind my back. You need to stop creeping up on –“  
“Christ! Don’t laugh, Ben. Don’t laugh at me!” Callum scrubbed his hands through his hair. “But that’s all you’ve ever done, ain’t it? Taking the piss out of the stupid straight boy when I was wiv Whit and then you couldn’t drop me quick enough when that all fell apart. What’s wrong with you, eh? Get off on chasing people who ain’t available, do ya?”  
Ben was anguished. “I – no! That ain’t what happened.”  
“No? Stuart warned me about you. He said you were just messing me around.” Callum shook his head. “I shoulda listened. I’d still be wiv Whitney if I’d listened to him.”  
“Yeah, and the pair of ya’d be miserable, Cal. That was no life you was livin back then.”  
A bitter smile appeared on Callum’s mouth. “And you think this is? In some kind of no-man’s-land, sleeping with blokes I don’t even like, cos the one bloke I –“ Callum broke off with a sob, and rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. “It don’t matter. Forget it.”  
He turned to leave again, but Ben jumped in front of him.  
Callum wiped tears from his eyes. “Let me go Ben. I know ya don’t want me, but ya could at least have the decency to stop slagging me off to Jay.”  
Ben gave in to the temptation to touch him again, and grabbed him by both arms to keep him there.  
“That weren’t what was happening, I promise ya. Jay was doin an Abi on me.”  
“A what?”  
“An Abi. When I was just coming out he made me role play coming out to Abi, my girlfriend back then.”  
Callum looked as if his interest had been piqued, but he was still observing Ben with distrust. “And what’s that got to do with me?”  
“He was making me do the same thing for you.”  
Callum frowned. “But you’re the biggest poof I know. You don’t have to come out to me.”  
“No, not that – cheers, by the way. He was making me role play telling you what a massive twat I’ve been.”  
“By slagging off my sex life?”  
“No! You didn’t hear what I was gonna say –“  
“It’s no worse than you are, with yer Grindr.”  
Ben stepped back. “Well, actually, since we got together I ain’t been with anyone.”  
Callum’s face was studiedly blank. “It don’t matter –“  
“It does! Just hear me out Cal. I was tellin Jay how it kills me to see you with a different bloke every night.”  
“Cos you’re not getting any? Well, that ain’t my fault.”  
“No! Cos I ain’t getting you, ya melt!”  
Ben’s voice echoed across the playground, the silence afterwards almost jangling.  
Callum looked like all the wind had been blown out of his sails. He peered at Ben as if seeing him for the first time.  
“But you said I weren’t experienced enough for ya.”  
“I never!”  
“You made me think I had to sleep with a load of blokes before you’d even look twice at me.”  
Ben began to laugh, and Callum looked like he was about to call him out on it again. “That’s what you’ve bin doin? You thought there was a qualifying number?”  
Callum shrugged. “I dunno. Yeah?”  
Ben threw his arms around him and pulled his head down to his shoulder. “You’ re such an idiot! I thought you’d get bored of me. If you hadn’t had anyone else you might start thinking the grass was greener –“  
“And that’s why you sent me away?” Callum’s voice was muffled in Ben’s neck. He pulled away to look at the younger man, holding him at arms’ length. ”There will never be any grass greener than yours, Ben Mitchell.”  
Ben grimaced. “Er, OK.”  
They grinned at each other. “You’re an idiot,” said Callum.  
“YOU’RE an idiot,” replied Ben. “So, if I invited you on a date d’you think we could actually make a success of it this time?”  
“Odds are good,” said Callum, his grin getting even wider. “Just to be sure, you do still want me?”  
“Of course! Never stopped mate.”

Jay watched the second hand of the clock creep round. Only twenty minutes to go. If he had to look at Callum’s dopey big grinning face one more time he’d stuff him in their finest mahogany casket and leave him there with the lid down.  
“I think I preferred it when you was miserable,” he said.


End file.
